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Euro-English?

              One of the many ‘Englishes’ spoken and written today is Euro-English.

Euro-English has its origins in the political arena of the European Community. Here is a humorous article about the future of Euro-English published in a Canadian newspaper.

The European Union has announced that an agreement has been reached to adopt English as the preferred language for European communication. As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty’s Government agreed that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a five-year plan for what will be known as Euro-English (‘Euro’ for short).

In the first year, ‘s’ will be used instead of the soft ‘c’. Sertainly sivil servants will reseive this news with joy. Also, the hard ‘c’ will be replaced with ‘k’. Not only this should klear up confusion, but typewriters kan have one less letter.

There will be growing public enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome ‘ph’ will be replaced with ‘f’. This will make words like ‘fotograf’ 20 per cent shorter.

In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the state where more komplicated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also al wil agre that the horrible mes of the silent ‘e’s in the language is disgrasful.

In the fourth year, peopl wil be replasing ‘th’ by ‘z’ and ‘w’ with ‘v’.

During ze fifz year, ze unesesary ‘o’ kan be dropd from vords kontaining ‘o’, and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer kombinations of leters.

After zis fifz yer, ve vil  hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

ZE DREM VIL FINALI KUM TRU!